Remember the summer of 2000 when everyone was glued to their TVs watching Survivor?
The suspense, the drama, the calculation! No one could imagine this stuff was written.
Ten plus years later we know better, and we also know that the content doesn’t really express the truth of its subject. Why do the women of The Real Housewives hang out together if they hate one another so much? Will Emily Maynard from The Bachelor ever find true love? What are we getting to by talking about reality television?
Earlier this week we were contacted by AMC’s The Pitch. Despite the promise of fortune and fame, we passed. It’s very clear to us that we would wipe the floor with our competition, but truthfully,we knew that a reality show, no matter how well scripted, filmed and edited, could never truly capture what we are about at Echo-Factory.
Despite what all advertising programs on television might tell you, it’s not all Canadian Club whiskey and tears.
Most of our day is spent behind a computer screen brainstorming, creating and revising for the hundredth time for an attempt at perfection. For us it’s exciting fascinating stuff, but not so much for the viewer. We know no one wants to watch us staring at a screen throughout the 43 minute spot. More importantly, at Echo-Factory we’re not all that into making a show of ourselves. Our job is to make a show of the client instead. We’ don’t want to get in the way.
Just because we passed on fifteen minutes of fame doesn’t mean we can’t imagine what film crews around here would be like. We spent some time thinking about how we would behave in front of the camera, and as a first rule of reality show, what would make us memorable. Here’s what we came up with:
Mustafa– The guy who shows off on his unused foldable commuter bike by jumping down stairs. It has nothing to do with advertising, but it’ll impress the 18-24 female demographic
Sarah-The girl that parties pretty hard with the complementary beverages. She’s the fan favorite.
Carl– The Jersey Shore guy that works out with his shake weight during brainstorm sessions. During his pitches he is doing pull-ups and when his team wins he has to stand up from his push-ups to shake the host’s hand.
Sydnee-The quiet lurker that photobombs talking head segments.
Mike-The show off with a weird collection he keeps bringing into conversation. In this case, used coffee mugs filled with old coffee. Somehow each shot of him has mugs that seem to multiply all around him. By the end he is pitching his ideas to a pile of coffee mugs.
Roni-The dangerous girl you have to watch your back with. The reality show’s researchers would soon discover that her dragon tattoo is actually the marking that only the most ruthless Filipino mobsters carry. Just the mere glimpse of it makes even the most hardened criminal bow in submission. The episode would probably never air, because the footage and film crew will all have coincidentally disappeared soon after.
Andrew-The in-it-to-win-it guy who stops at nothing for the prize. This includes betrayal, bribery and other questionable acts. He should win, but the fans just like Sarah better.
Denise-She’s the girl that doesn’t seem to want to be there. She is too laid back and cool for reality shows. Instead she just sketches in the corner. Viewers wonder if she’s the producer’s niece doing the family a favor.
Dea-The girl who only does reality shows to promote her acting career; she was on Paris Hilton’s My New BFF and Millionaire Matchmaker also. She can really bring on the cute laughing photos or the fake tears. After the show she hopes to start a line of wine and release a dance single. You can contact her agent if you liked her work.
Ray– The guy with so many weird phrases that producers end up including explanatory subtitles to his speech. Soon these phrases become a pop culture phenomenon and his colloquialisms become a controversial addition to the Oxford English Dictionary. Book deals, spin-offs and guest appearances on late night result shortly after.